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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28460364">it will only hurt as long as you remember</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicky/pseuds/Nicky'>Nicky</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Old Guard (Movie 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Nile's American-ness, Oh there's smut too, Panic Attacks, Quynh is in an unbalanced mental state, Vaginal Fingering, andromaquynh secret santa exchange, quynh being very happy to be back with her family</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:47:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,757</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28460364</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicky/pseuds/Nicky</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Quynh finds a white hair in Andromache's beautiful head...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Quynh | Noriko/Andy | Andromache the Scythian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>it will only hurt as long as you remember</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the andromaquynh's secret santa exchange. Happy holidays <a href="https://notablogtobefollowedunless.tumblr.com/">notablogtobefollowedunless</a>!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Quynh's perception of time is askew. She spent too many lives underwater, too many deaths without day nor night nor sun. An eternity measured in dying, waking, suffering and dying again. In the coffin, time had been water: undifferentiated, indistinguishable, and crushing.  And Quynh, she had been water for so long that when she came back to the surface she struggled to discriminate one second from the next. She is a timeless creature, trying to adjust to a world that expects her to keep tabs on years, hours, seconds. How is she supposed to do that, when moments were impossible to single out? It is as ludicrous as trying to catch a single drop of water in the ocean.</p><p>One morning she wakes up to find that ten years had ticked by since she escaped her prison, and she cannot be sure of how exactly she has reached this milestone. Life is mudded up in her mind.</p><p>She hugs her love closer to her in their bed.</p><p>"Andromache," she whispers. "Andromache. I'm anxious."</p><p>Her love stirs, mumbles something and hugs her closer. Quynh ought to let her sleep; she has been feeling so tired lately, with the wave of missions that has come their way. They bring so much good into this world, but the toll is sometimes high to pay.</p><p>So she stops calling for her, but tightens her embrace. She breathes deeply. This anxiety is nothing to worry about. It will flow away, like everything else in life.</p>
<hr/><p>The stars can be seen perfectly from here. That was one of the very first things Quynh noticed when she came out of the water: in this new world, there were no stars. Of course, she knows they are still there, but they are so hard to find nowadays. In most places you have to squint your eyes into slits just to get a glimpse of skimpy light dot.</p><p>But here they shine strong. It’s not the sky she remembers – on the other side of the world, the firmament is quite different from what she’s used to. She finds it so magical. The fact that she’s floating on a peaceful bend of this river whose name she doesn’t know, in a hidden piece of land that for so long went unnoticed to the civilization and times where she used to live in. A whole new continent. It’s so wild for her to think about.</p><p>“Little sister,” she calls.</p><p>Nile is sitting by some rocks, enjoying the weak waterfall that rains over her braided hair like a kind caress. She probably doesn’t hear her over the sound of the running water and the singing crickets. That’s another thing that’s hard to find in today’s world. A place with enough crickets to deafen you with their music.</p><p>So she turns around from the comfortable plank position she was floating in –</p><p>
  <em>“Doesn’t water scare you?” had asked Nile, so sincere, long ago. “I... I think I would be scared of water. Just from the dreams... just from the dreams, I think it scares me a little.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Quynh had hummed and thought about the question and what answer to give. She didn’t have a reason. She just knew that water wasn’t a thing she was scared of. But that wasn’t entirely true, was it?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I think, as long as my feet can touch the ground underneath, and my head is above its level, I’m good with it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Quynh had always liked water. She won’t let anything take away the peacefulness she always felt inside of it. It’s her home, be it her prison or her rest place. She told this to Nile, hoping she would understand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I think I get it,” Nile said.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Want to swim with me?” Quynh smiled. “The dreams must have been awful too. We can lose the fear together, if we hold hands.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nile had smiled too. And held her hand. And they had dived in together, and laughed together, and it had been wonderful.</em>
</p><p>–And splashes her face to get her attention.</p><p>“Hey!” Nile sputters. “Uncalled for!”</p><p>“I did call for you.” Quynh giggles. She is in a good mood. “What’s the name of this place? I know it’s in the new continent, but I keep forgetting the names.”</p><p>“Uh.” Nile seems at a loss too, and not just from the surprise splash. “I’m not sure?”</p><p>Which is a bit ironical, considering that they have carried out a full mission, dismantled a drug producing complex run on slave labour, and captured its ringleaders to take into interrogation. They can successfully carry on a job without knowing exactly in what place of the world they are in. They are a well oiled machine, this little family of hers. Quynh is so glad to be a snuggled cog in it once again.</p><p>“It’s some place of South America. Brazil, I think? It’s the jungle, so it must be Brazil.”</p><p>“God, Nile, I hadn’t heard you say something so American in such a long time,” Yusuf says, coming out of the hut where they are staying at, post job. It’s a little wooden thing, which boasts one all purpose room and that’s where the boasting ends. There’s no kitchen whatsoever. The closest thing to a bathroom is the delicious stream that Quynh is enjoying herself in right now. It’s more luxury than what Quynh is used to. Nomadic life was the norm for her for a couple of millennia.</p><p>Nicolo told her it used to serve as hidden rebel base a couple of decades ago, for when Yusuf, himself and the “comrades”, as he had called them, where warring against the dictatorship that had taken control of this land whose name Quynh can’t recall for the life of her. It became abandoned when the rebel groups where completely crushed. Nicolo had looked mournful when he told her the story, so she hadn’t pressed for more details, but it only made her feel more inadequate that she couldn’t remember the name of a place that had apparently been so important for her brother.</p><p>Yusuf strips most of his clothing to join them. The water is as warm as the night, here where it nests away from the main current and it shows on Yusuf’s face as soon as he steps in.</p><p>“We are in Tucumán. Smallest province of Argentina.”</p><p>“Argentina?” Nile sits up with a confused expression. “Wasn’t Argentina supposed to be the southest of the south? Cold place?”</p><p>“Almost half of Argentina is jungle, Nile.”</p><p>“No, you are fucking with me. Messi didn’t grow up in a jungle. He is white.”</p><p>“There’s so many things wrong in that sentence. He actually grew up in Barcelona, Spain. In Europe. But it’s not the point.” Yusuf sighs, which an expression that reminds Quynh of that of a tired parent. “I’ll teach you the names in the map again. And the geography of the continent too.”</p><p>“Oh, me too!” Quynh chimes in. “I keep forgetting the names. Half of the ones I know from the Old World are changed by now. And the New World is as big as the old one, if not bigger.” She likes the New World and the possibility of learning new things. It keeps her excited. “I just wish I could remember better. I keep forgetting things.”</p><p>Or, it’s more like things keep slipping from her mind. Lately – since she re-birthed out of the coffin –, holding memories has been like cupping water in her hands. Most of it disappears and she’s left with the feeling of wetness between her fingers. She knows from the dampness that the water, the memories, were there. But she doesn’t have them anymore, only the knowledge that she has forgotten them. It’s a little bit upsetting and worrying, so she has been ignoring the feelings, hoping they will go away on their own. Praying that she is only forgetting names, and not more important things.</p><p>“We are getting geography classes for everyone!” Yusuf announces happily, making her forget her concerns.</p><p>Quynh cheers gleefully, (“Yay!”) while Nile cheers less convincingly, (“yay...?”)</p><p>Quynh is happy today.</p><p>She can hear Yusuf’s soft voice still explaining some abstract geography to Nile (“No, Argentina has jungle like Brazil, but Brazil doesn’t have glaciers like Argentina”) mixed in with the calls of the wild birds and the buzzing of insects. Eventually, it all becomes background noise as she planks again and her ears are covered by water.</p><p>She swims a bit more around their little pool, careful not to come too close to the main current. The astounding amount of fireflies provides enough light for her to know her way. That’s another thing unfortunately missing from this modern world. Fireflies have apparently become too weak in the face of modernisation. She is happy to be a part of the world again, but. The stark difference between what she once knew and what today is, still unbalances her most of the times. She mourns the things that have been lost, more than her brothers and her love do. They have had time to adjust. In contrast, she was lopped off time and then re-attached like a dirtily severed limb. Feeling out of place and out of time has become a constant state of being for her.</p><p>But she doesn’t want these sombre thoughts to dampen her mood. Today’s mission was a categorical success – with all working slaves freed and ringleaders captured. Only Nile got killed, Yusuf only got shot in his legs, but not his torso, and Quynh... Well, Quynh got blown into the air by a grenade but. She has already re-grown her jaw, which had been blown off and now she’s good as new. This is a celebratory night. She is celebrating, and she is in a good mood, and she’s keeping the status quo that way.</p><p>She focuses on the night sky again, and thinks she would like to know the names of these stars too. New world, new possibilities, new things to learn. She has <em>a lot</em> to learn. Good thing immortality gives her a lot of time to learn them at her pace. And she will have her family by her side, whenever she needs some crutches. They will hold her for as much as she needs to, and then some.</p><p>She decides to get out when she notices she is close to falling asleep. She might not be scared of getting into the water, but the few times that she has come close to drowning have sent her spiralling into a panic attack. She would like to avoid that in this celebratory night.</p><p>Standing up, Nile and Yusuf’s conversation tunes back in, (“No, Surinam isn’t in Africa, it’s in South America too, North of Brazil. What – yes, there <em>is </em>space north of Brazil for more countries”), and she smiles at Yusuf’s patient tone. He always did like tutoring, and she knows he will be kind when tutoring her too.</p><p>“I’m turning in for the night,” she announces to them. They look up from the rock where they have drawn an imaginary map of the continent – artist’s minds, Quynh is impressed – and wave.</p><p>“Good night, Quynh!” Nile chirps.</p><p>“Sleep tight, dear,” Yusuf says with those loving eyes of his.</p><p>The hut is only some steps away, but Quynh still checks her way with a stick. Dying by poisonous snake bite isn’t in her list of to-do’s of the day, so the carefulness doesn’t hurt. Low lights come from the window. Either Nicolo and Andromache are already asleep and they left lamp lights for them not to trip over their way, or they are doing something that does not require sight power.</p><p>Once inside, she finds a piece of cloth to dry herself off – that is probably half a century old, as are all of the supplies they found in the hut's storage chest. The room is lighted by a gas lamp. There are electricity lamps here too, and an electric generator to power them. But alas, they have no fuel to power the thing, so they are stuck to the old ways... which are still entirely new and inventive and modern for Quynh. She doesn’t mind the gas lamps, none of them do, except perhaps Nile who mourns the lack of electricity.</p><p>Nico is sleeping in one of the hammocks, exhausted by today’s mission. Hm, now that she thinks about it, he also got blown off by the same grenade that exploded on her face. He lost three fingers and spent most of the afternoon sleeping off the pain of re-growing them. Yusuf had looked very anxious about that, more anxious that Nico himself. Maybe that’s why he is outside talking non-sense to Nile, instead of relaxed in his hammock. He’s probably got nervous energy to burn. Nile... she probably had nervous energy to burn too. She did die a bit gruesomely too, with that shot to her eye.</p><p>That didn’t explain why her Andromache was up and awake, hunching over the only table in the place. <em>She </em>hadn’t been shot once. She takes more of a back sit these days, directing missions through the comms and cameras they have attached to their outfits, rather than being in the direct line of fire. She’s as good as present during the jobs, Quynh knows. She has her voice in her ear constantly, issuing orders, giving re-assurance, finding new and safer paths for her team to navigate. But she does it from the safety of distance. It had been a unanimous decision that the team had taken. And Andromache had pursed her lips in that way of hers that signals she’s about to send everyone to hell and back. But ultimately, she had bowed to her family’s wishes, as she always, in the end, did. Everyone felt more focused with the knowledge that the head of their family was safe and out of harm’s way.</p><p>One hand holding her forehead and mouth biting on the nails of the other, Andromache examines a collage of the job’s intel spread on the table. Such an uncouth habit; Quynh frowns upon it. Her lover’s hands are too pretty for her to be ruining them like that. She had gotten better at it, before Quynh was taken from this life. Before the water, Andromache had it under control and would only do it when –</p><p>When she was anxious.</p><p>Quynh begins to think that her celebratory mood might not have been shared by anyone else in her family.</p><p>“My love,” she murmurs, not wanting to wake Nicolo. Putting a hand on her shoulder, she says the obvious because it’s usually a good way to start a conversation. “Still awake?”</p><p>Andromache looks up and gives her a tired smile. She double-checks her when she notices her state of wet undress, and the tired smile turns into a smirk. "Hello, my soul. I’m checking for holes in our battle plan. Today did not go as smoothly as expected.”</p><p>“Hm...” Quynh looks at the maps and satellite pictures. “I thought the job was quite successful. Didn’t we accomplish all of our goals?”</p><p>“We did,” she says with a proud, yet exhausted nod. “But in the future, I would like the team to go in better prepared. If you had been usual soldiers, you all would have been left like sieves.”</p><p>“Such a graphic description...”</p><p>Quynh crisps her lips. Andromache, she truly worries about this. All of her family has been living with this tension in each of their steps, and Quynh doesn’t understand why. She senses something is off; the dampness in her fingers tells her there was water there, there was knowledge there she should remember. Something crucial.</p><p>But she can’t recall.</p><p>She tries not to think about all the important things she is forgetting. Andromache should do the same, and not stress so much about things she can’t control.</p><p>“Move, move,” she says, emphasizing her point by shuffling her arms away with her butt. “I want to sit on your lap.”</p><p>Her love snorts.</p><p>“You are always welcome in my lap.”</p><p>“Pft. I’m a <em>special guest</em>. Your lap is <em>grateful</em> she can have me.”</p><p>“Of course, I’m selling you short.”</p><p>“Unforgivable crime. I’m V.I.P.”</p><p>“Nile’s been teaching you new words, I see.” Andromache pecks her lips and loops and arm around her waist, which never fails to make Quynh feel small and protected and cherished. Like a broken spell, Quynh’s happiness returns to her.</p><p>Turning so she can face her more fully, she gives her a proper kiss, and when Andromache responds, Quynh poses her hand on her firm jaw and tilts it upwards. This angle is definitely more satisfactory; Quynh can deepen the kiss, and get a little tongue action, which makes the rest of her body feel warm and nice.</p><p>“You are so distracting,” her love mumbles, when they break apart.</p><p>“My Andromache, fierce fighter of men, has your laser focus been broken?”</p><p>“I just can’t with you.” She shakes her head, but the wrinkles in her eyes aren’t those of anxiety any more, but from soft content. A job well accomplished, Quynh thinks, seeing her so relaxed.</p><p>“I’ll admit, I am a sexy weakness,” she says, full of herself.</p><p>“You <em>are</em> a sexy weakness.”</p><p>They are both giggling, like millennia old teenagers. Andromache’s beautiful neck looks very tempting, so Quynh burrows her nose in there and gifts herself with the taste of it. Andromache moans because of course she does. This is a sensitive spot of hers, right above her perfect collarbone, and Quynh has known this (read <em>taken advantage </em>of this) for too many centuries to count. She nips with the ticklish bite of a hare, and Andromache squeezes her close. The movement makes their breast rub together. Quynh is getting hot and bothered.</p><p>Andromache seems to be heading into the same state because she searches her mouth with thirsted desperation. Quynh concedes, of course, because she’s only winning here, isn’t she? She has her lover’s full attention on her, – and isn’t Quynh a slut for attention – and the pesky anxieties of the day have been forgotten for the more interesting options the night has to offer.</p><p>Only their position becomes a bother for her; she would very much like to straddle Andromache, instead of just sit in her lap.</p><p>She breaks the kiss and mumbles, “Let me move.” But Andromache seems to have no patience for it.</p><p>“I want your mouth,” she begs.</p><p>“You’ll have it,” Quynh reassures her, delighted. “Just let me set in.”</p><p>She moves her legs to do just that, but in the second it takes her, Andromache lets her head fall on the chair’s back and sighs ruefully.</p><p>“We shouldn’t be doing this right here,” she says, with the smirk of a child who does not feel sorry for getting caught stealing from the cookie jar.</p><p>“Nicolo won’t wake up, he’s sleeping like a rock,” she answers, and continues kissing ear and neck and collarbone.</p><p>Quynh’s actually not sure about that one, but her pussy has gotten wet already, and she’s not one to deny her body when it demands her something.</p><p>Andromache makes show of her iron will because even as she tilts her head to receive more kisses, she insists, “The kids could come in any moment...”</p><p>The kids being Joe and Nile, of course. Quynh huffs, annoyed.</p><p>“My love, I haven’t had your hand in so long that my pussy has forgotten the shape of your fingers.”</p><p>“Well, that is truly a travesty.”</p><p>“Do something about it,” Quynh dares. “We can be fast enough.”</p><p>Andromache’s eyes glint in the low light, because she loves a challenge as much as she adores Quynh. And in this case, she’s getting both out of this situation. Not even her iron will can resist.</p><p>She comes close enough to kiss her ear and rasps, lips tickling her lobe, “My sexy weakness. What am I to do with you?”</p><p>Quynh giggles. She is feeling quite devilish tonight.</p><p>She feels Andromache’s hand in her breast, then her waist, down to her hip bone, and she holds her breath in anticipation when she can finally feel its warmth against her core. It <em>has </em>been a long time. Too many jobs in a row, too much time bringing good into this world and not enough time bringing attention to Quynh’s pussy. She feels neglected. She gets bratty when she’s denied for too long what rightfully belongs to her.</p><p>“Don’t tease,” she demands.</p><p>“Don’t tell me what to do.”</p><p>Quynh looks at her exasperated, then mildly outraged when she notices that Andromache is clearly having a great time being a fucking tease and circling her hole instead of filling her up.</p><p>“Stubborn old mule,” she puffs, and rips a loud and stark cackle from her love.</p><p>“Well, that I am!” She chuckles. “Old, I mean. But I’m still good at this, am I not?”</p><p>To prove her point, Quynh feels the spark of a caress in her clit, and loses her breath.</p><p>“Yeah, I <em>am </em>good,” Andromache keeps self flattering. “For the way your cunt is so hungry for my fingers, I would say I am.”</p><p>And Quynh wants to smack her, but she also wants to fill her ridiculously perfect face with kisses. She’s having fun, even if Andromache is denying her with such hyperbolic cruelty. She must resort to other, more drastic methods if she wants to come any time soon.</p><p>Hugging her close and burying her face in her neck, she begs soft enough for it to be a whine. “My love... my love why are you doing this to me?”</p><p>Andromache’s breath hitches. Quynh knows she is winning. She goes on, weaker, even needier than before.</p><p>“I need you. Please, my love, can’t you feel it? <em>I need you</em>.”</p><p>It works like a charm.</p><p>Andromache stops fucking around and starts fucking her instead, and isn’t that much lovelier? Quynh bites her lips and pushes her moans into her love’s neck, because she doesn’t actually want to wake Nicolo up. They’ll be done in no time; she wasn’t lying when she said she was needy. Her pussy had been drooling all over Andromache’s fingers before they had even entered her. And now inside of her, she can squeeze and suck on them all she wants. It feels wonderful. Exactly what she needed.</p><p>“Quynh, stop saying such things.”</p><p>“Shh.” Had she said all that out loud? Oh well. “I’m almost done. Just. Let me-”</p><p>She untangles one hand from their hug and goes to stroke her clit, while Andromache’s wonderful fingers keep the work inside of her. And she’s getting kisses in her chest, and licks to her nipples, and oh, “That was such an unfair bite, my love, I wasn’t expecting that!”</p><p>“Keep your voice, my soul!” Andromache yell-whispers.</p><p>“Don’t bite me then!”</p><p>“This?” she asks, devious. “This isn’t a bite. I’m merely giving you a sharp caress with my teeth,” and then proceeds to do exactly that again, while her fingers drive in deep enough, and Quynh’s own fingers stroke just in the right way, and Quynh finally, <em>finally</em> gets to finish this day with a cherry on top of the cake.</p><p>Her orgasm makes her curl her toes, and suck on Andromache’s fingers like she wants to swallow them deep inside her body. When it’s over, she rests her forehead to her lover’s, catching her breath.</p><p>“There it is. I told you it would be quick.”</p><p>“Hey, I want in too. I could rival the neighbouring river down there.”</p><p>“I would never leave you unattended, my love. I’m just regrouping.”</p><p>They both have this pleased smile, and even though it is Quynh who has just come, Andromache has a post orgasmic expression too. They exchange drunken kisses until Quynh feels well enough to stand and declare, “I want to suck you off.”</p><p>“We are really pushing our luck here,” Andromache eyes the still – thank god– sleeping Nicolo and then the door. “I don’t think he will wake, but Joe and Nile <em>will </em>come back at any moment now.”</p><p><em>I can finish you off even faster than you did for me</em>, Quynh thinks, and she’s about to say it when Andromache’s head movement makes her catch something she hadn’t seen before with the low gas light.</p><p>“My love,” she calls. “Is that a white hair?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>She turns again, making Quynh almost miss the hair, but now that she has zoomed on it, she doesn’t think she can un-see it.</p><p>“Right here.” She fishes it carefully, besides the left temple. “You have a white hair.”</p><p>“I do?” Andromache turns her eyes to the side curiously. “I can’t see it.”</p><p>“Oh my god, you have a white hair.” She sputters a laugh.</p><p>“Are you laughing at me?”</p><p>“You have a white hair!”</p><p>“You said it already.” Andromache, honest to god, is turning pinkish at the cheekbones. It’s so hard to make her lover blush, and seeing it only fuels Quynh’s mirth who is now laughing out loud. “This is the most unsexy thing ever.”</p><p>“Nooo. I still want to suck your pussy, my love.”</p><p>“I have dried out. I’m old.”</p><p>“Noooooo,” Quynh complains. It would probably sound better if she wasn’t still giggling like a maniac. “I’m not laughing at you, my love.” She fills her face with kisses (never losing the precious hair she has between her fingers) to reassure her, and Andromache is smiling even if she’s blushing. “But it is funny!”</p><p>“This wretched mission has stressed me out so much.” She sulks theatrically. “All of you are giving me white hairs, dying all over again in such gruesome ways.”</p><p>Quynh keeps laughing. And it is a funny thing, at first.</p><p>“Look, it’s so long and so stark! Oh, take a picture, I want to show the guys in the morning before I lose it.”</p><p>Andromache sighs, defeated. “I’m going, my soul. Give me a second.”</p><p>As she looks for her burner phone on the table, Quynh makes another delighted discovery. </p><p>“Look, there’s more here! You have two white hairs in your left temple... oh there’s more on top, it’s actually three... no, four. Four white hairs!”</p><p>“Stop,” Andromache whines. “You are humiliating me!”</p><p>But she can barely speak through her snorts, and Quynh too is turning shrilly in her fit of laugher. If they managed not to wake Nicolo up during their inappropriate activities, he is definitely waking now. Hell, probably even Joe and Nile can hear her from outside the hut. But Quynh isn’t thinking about any of that. She’s not thinking at all. There’s only white hair, and then another white hair, and then another one and another one and this is just hilarious, isn’t it?</p><p>“You have so many of them!”</p><p>She is crying. Because this is hilarious, this is so hilarious.</p><p>“You are becoming so old.”</p><p>She hiccups, hysterical.</p><p>“So many white hairs!”</p><p>Her fingers are damp but this time she has an inkling of where the water went, what she was supposed to remember but has been purposefully ignoring all this time.</p><p>“Soon, you shall be a hairless corpse.”</p><p>It takes her an astounding amount of time to realize she’s not breathing. She drowning. All the memories came back, her fingers refilling with the water she had forgotten about and now they are overflowing and Quynh is drowning, oh fuck, she’s drowning, she’s drowning, Andromache, I’m drowning!</p><p>And funny thing, she keeps talking even though she can’t breathe, and she knows she is talking because the only thing she can hear above her own heartbeat is her voice saying, “I clawed my way out of that prison, just in time to see you die. What a big irony, what a joke! What a big, cruel joke!”</p><p>Her vision is black around the edges and she has been so gone that she hasn’t noticed until now that Andromache's desperate face fills up the rest that isn’t black. She thinks she might be lying on the floor, because her stiff limbs hurt. She is hitting on iron and gulping in water. She’s down there again, in that hopeless pit of darkness. Is she seizing? She is grabbing Andromache like a wooden plank on a shipwreck, at once clutching and fighting against her.</p><p>She thinks, maybe, far away, that someone is trying to hold her and many voices are overlapping, screaming, but she can’t make out the words because she keeps hearing over and over again, “Cruel, cruel joke. I’d rather be down there again than see you die.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Comfort is coming in the second chapter. Please share your thoughts with me in the comments!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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